I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize