you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
