Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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