the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
