Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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