saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
