My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i drank out of a bidet.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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