Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Watching her eat just hurts me
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
we're so committed to being not committed
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
