she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize