I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You are a genius and a whore.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
