sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
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I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
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We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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