it was like his penis was on wheels.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize