I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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