So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
