The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize