kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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