I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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