The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
