so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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