Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
