quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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