Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
