I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
