Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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