my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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