I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
The Olympian is in my bed
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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