So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
