No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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