i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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