i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
