Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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