I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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