is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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