ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
zippers are such a cool invention
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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