Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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