I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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