I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
