He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
