We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
