i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
