I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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