Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
