yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
