I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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