??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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