I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
