She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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