apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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