allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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