Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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