Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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