Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
