dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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