Just fell off a train. Bad.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
