those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize