I wannas sexs uuuuu
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
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Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
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I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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