you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
