i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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