I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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