I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
